Purposeful Green Homes Part Three: The Fallacy of a "Perfect Home"

Do you ever dream about having a perfect home someday?

 Do you love looking through magazines, books and Pinterest at new decorating ideas and remodels? 

What is it with our desire for more—or for an ideal?

I have periodically envisioned how my home will look when my kids are grown up and out of the house.  I have dreamed about the new furniture I will purchase, the new color schemes and décor I will have, the new painted walls….  Yes, I have thought about that "perfect home."

Have you ever been in a home that you thought was perfect?  How did it make you feel?  Were you relaxed and comfortable; totally at ease?  Your initial feelings may have been, "Wow!  This place is so beautiful."  You were aesthetically pleased—but were you comfortable?  I mean, really comfortable? 

In a home that looks perfect there can be an uneasiness that rests on the guests who enter.

As a guest, you may sit on the edge of the couch rather than sit comfortably back in it. 

As a guest, you may be afraid to take your drink into the living room, or at least will hold the glass with two hands the whole visit.

As a guest you may begin to doubt yourself and your worth in comparison to the surroundings you are in. Thoughts of, what is wrong with me or I could never have so-and-so over to my house, may begin to creep in.

The truth be told—a perfect home may be a front for someone whose inner life is out of control.  People who are struggling within sometimes try to control their physical surroundings in hopes of gaining control at some level.  Perhaps the homeowner was always criticized growing up and now strives to perfect his/her environment.  Some personalities lend themselves toward seeking constant perfection.  Whatever the reason the goal of having a "perfect home" should be re-evaluated.

Throwing out the idea of perfection in our homes is NOT a bad idea, in fact it can be quite liberating!  Perfect homes equate too much control over the environment.  Perfect homes can stifle creativity, and may create tension within the family dynamics. 

What we should strive to be perfected in is CONTENTMENT.  Perfect homes do not really exist; because they are inhabited by imperfect people!

Why not grow in becoming more content?  Perfecting contentment says, "Life happens, and I can adjust."  Perfecting contentment means you learn to live with flexibility.  Contentment says, my kitchen sink may have dishes from dinner in it, but I have a sick child who needs me right now and those dishes can wait.  Contentment say, we have had a very hectic week and right now family time takes priority over cleanup time.

Perfecting contentment is not about abandoning responsibility in your home, it is knowing that life has an ebb and flow and how to navigate within that flow.

If you struggle with not living up to an ideal, or have been straining to achieve the "perfect home,"  in the words of the theme song to the movie "Frozen" –"Let it go!"

Make a trade-off and give up having a perfect home for having perfect contentment!

Live Green on Purpose!

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