Should Children do Household Chores?

 You can find arguments for both sides of the topic; however, the majority of research indicates that children SHOULD do household chores. With that being said...

Why is it deemed so important?

From my gleaning on the topic; here are three repeating reasons in favor of why kids should do chores..

·      Chores help children feel greater connectedness to the family through their contribution.

·      Chores give children a sense of accomplishment.

·      Chores are a necessary life skill that children need for adulthood.

Connectedness to the family:

Children can sense a feeling of happiness when they make meaningful contributions to the family.  This is most often accomplished through household chores. 

Children also learn the value of being part of a family through involvement in household tasks. 

Sharing the load at home helps everyone. It says, “we are all in this together, everyone counts!”

The hit TV Series that came on the air in 1992 (running for 13 seasons), “Barney & Friends”, had a popular clean up song that had the following lyrics…

“…clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere; clean up, clean up, everybody do your share.” 

It got many a preschooler busily cleaning up around the house when that song came on! 

Yeah, Barney!!  

In writing this post, I reached out and asked my twenty-four, year old son if doing household chores gave him a sense of family connectedness.  His response was that doing the dishes made him feel more connection as everyone ate off the dishes. 

A Sense of Accomplishment:

This is more easily seen with preschoolers and young elementary children.  The prideful look on their faces when they have completed a task and you praised them for doing such a good job, immediately shows a sense of accomplishment!

Since the time each of my children were able to reach into the bottom of the washing machine without using a step stool, they have been doing their own laundry.  It is a “rite of passage,” in our home. They are a “bigger kid” now!  It was something I celebrated with them and each of them were happier to be “bigger kids.”  If they tried to reach the bottom, but could not, they would actually be disappointed!   

Again, my adult son shared with me that vacuuming the floor gave him a sense of accomplishment because it felt good to have a clean floor under his feet.  Also, when he was older and had the task of mowing the grass, he said he really felt good after mowing the yard. 

Before I share more, are your household cleaners non-toxic, safe for kids? For the upmost safety of your children you will want to use all natural household cleaners. 

Necessary life skills:

What child ever said, “Mom, Dad, please let me clean the toilet!”  NONE.  Yet, the child who has been taught how to clean the toilet and HAD to clean the toilet will not, when on his own, watch a YouTube a video on how to clean a toilet (if a tutorial on toilet cleaning even exists) and be embarrassed by not knowing how.  (On the comment section of one of the articles I read, a twenty-something year old young man wished his parents had taught him how to do chores while at home because it would’ve saved him great embarrassment in having to figure out how do to those tasks as an adult.)

A child who has to do household chores at home will make a better employee because he/she knows how to perform many of the job requirements most often needed at an entry level job.

Household chores also teach life realities.

Household chores teach kids that they can’t always do what they want when they want to.

 There are tasks we have to do as adults, that we do not want to do. Bottom Line.

 Teaching our children this reality while they are younger and at home, prepares them for doing things as an adult that they will have to do even when they do not want to.

One article against children doing household chores points to this very reality as a reason NOT to have children do chores around the home.  They will have to clean the house as adults so don’t burden them with it now (was the jest of the argument).  This line of thinking, I believe, sets children up for greater frustrations as adults. 

There will be plenty of other life skills they will be learning on their own.  Why add to the pile what they could’ve easily learned at from home and found success in! 

The following excerpt from the commencement speech at the University of Texas in 2014 by U.S. Navy Adm. William H. McCraven is relevant to chores as life skills:

           

            If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. 

            If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished

            the first task of the day.  It will give you a small sense of pride, and

            it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another.

            By the end of the day that one task completed will have turned into

            many tasks completed.

BUT... My child is SO busy with school and sports, he doesn’t have time for chores.

 

KJ Dell’Antonia, Opinion writer for the New York Times, said,

“Sports and homework are not get-out-of-chores-free cards.”

That statement was an “ouch” for me. 

I have been guilty of giving passes for these very reasons.  In reflection, though, I think it is fair (and dare I say –healthy), to reduce the number of chores for kids that are heavily involved in sports while in school or have a part time job while in school.  Children need to have some margin in their days just as much, and probably more so than adults.  They should still do some chores, though just not as many.

In my own home, each of my children had household chores to do and as they got older, the number of chores fluctuated according to the activities they were involved in. No matter how busy they were, though, each were responsible to do their own laundry.

Still not sure chores are good for kids?

The Center for Parenting Education had this to say about not giving household chores for kids:

 “One of the most frequently sited causes of over-indulgence stems from parents doing too much for their children and not expecting enough of them.”

The article went on to say, “By expecting children to complete self-care tasks and to help with household chores, parents equip children with skills to function independently in the outside world.”

Another way to think about kids doing home tasks is this, if you as a parent did all the household chores on top of your income earning job, when would you have the time to take family outings, or have game night, or movie night?  Would you have as much energy for a trip to the beach or park?

Children do not lose their childhood when they have to do some tasks around the home. In the big scheme of the week, the amount of time actually spent doing chores is probably fifteen minutes to a half hour a day, if that.

My own children had plenty of time for play and margin for rest too.  No one is saying they should do ALL the household work.  Children should simply chip in and be a part of the weekly upkeep of the home they are a part of as family.

“I have not made my kids do chores, how do I get started?”

First of all—it’s never too late to start.

Secondly—be sure to use, kid safe, non-toxic household cleaners!  

                                         Visit:  Brightly Green Store

1. Begin by having them make their bed!          

                  If your child is too small to make his/her bed, they can help you make the bed.    2. Have them pick up their toys.

3.   Help them clear the table, wash the dishes, or load/unload the dishwasher.

          Do these chores TOGETHER for a little while and then have them do the chores on              their own.

4.  Encourage them in the process.

5.  Look online for creative chore charts that would work best for your family

What is your opinion?  Should kids do chores?

Please let us know!

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